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"To set anything above it, birth, position, talent even, was to deny to all but a few among the infinite millions what was common and real, and what also, in the end, was most moving. A life wasn't for anything. It simply was." - Malouf, Fly Away Peter.
Hello y'all ^__^ Year 12 has begun! It has been tiring but exhilarating; and we got our senior jumpers already hehe. I should post up a picture of it soon, I love it too much yay. I don't know, I think this year is going to be so memorable. The air is constantly abuzz with who is gonna ask who for the formal - little notes stuck on lockers, tense boys looking around and asking about for a date of their own to bring to the formal. It's cute looking at them ask, so wired up and all. Maybe I could say this year has been memorable as well because I got my first Valentine's day gift this year as well

....and it was, well, surprising, to say the least. I've always wanted a Valentine's day gift, or to be asked, "Will you go to the formal with me?" once in my life. I guess you could say it's one of my dreams come true. So people, I got my first Valentine's day gift this year and I am really happy :')

I'm excited to see how Year 12 will turn out.
And I'm gonna be a duck (I will inform you all when I do!)

Till then! xx

Find for your light at the end of the tunnel

Exams are nearing, and I'm so owned by all the assignments flowing in, and all the deadlines to meet :/ I'll blog when I'm free again, but here I am and I wish anyone having exams all the best!

So what's going to happen to us?

My parents just came back from Singapore today, I'm so happy! You know, after a week of being on our own. It's not too bad, actually, being on our own. I've always wanted to be on my own, cooking my meals myself and grating my cheese myself and all, and being independent. But you know, I won't have a father to fix my Internet for me if it screws up..... xD Or unplug my toilet bowl, or fix the printer (or to hug and kiss) lol! But they're back and the toilet will be unplugged soon xD

After they came back with a whole heap of Korean DVDs for us to watch, I was just thinking about what was going to happen to us in the future. Really, what's going to happen to us? What will happen after we move in to Stonyfell? Will they go back to Singapore after we three sisters enter university? Will they leave us here alone again?

People asked me what's wrong with my facebook status. That depressing status doesn't say all about what I'm suffering right now. I'm at war in my head. My head is a constant battlefield worrying about whatever is going to happen next. Worrying about the next dish to cook, while putting up a strong front and pretending everything's alright. Worrying about my cousin back home because I love her so much and I don't even have a single clue about what is happening back home. I don't want to show my emotions so easily now and allow people to read my face like it's a transparent storybook. When I was homesick, I was calling Pamela everyday and sobbing into the phone like a freak. I don't even think she understood half the things I was choking out to her, but my gratitude and love to her for helping me through that period of my life has no boundaries.

I want to express how much I love my parents too, but I don't know how to. It seems wrong to say this, and I know how much my parents love me too. But I don't know how to express it, and it always saddens me when my family thinks I'm too busy with my own things to even care for them (which sometimes may come across as that) but I really do...... When my dad scoops my sister into a hug and kiss but he doesn't really do that to me at all. When all I do at night is just stare up into the ceiling while my dad cuddles my sister in the next bed. But it might be because sometimes I like to put a barrier up in front of me, and throw grenades at the next person who might hurt me. I told you, my mind's a constant war front -_- What a charming analogy.

And there's another thing about relationships. It frustrates me so much. At this time of my life, having a boyfriend is completely unneccessary and will most probably distract me from my final year exams coming up next year. But there is so much around me that keep on making me think otherwise. Relationship problems with one of my friends don't seem to help either. Girlfriend and Best friend are two completely different things and I don't plan to be his girlfriend at any time of my life. I know, I used to like him but YOU are the one with him right now, not me and not anyone else. So he's your boyfriend and not mine, so don't worry that I'm going to come along one day and snatch him from you. I won't jump down a building just because both of you together. I have much better things to do than that. I'll much rather stick to having his trust that I once broke.

But you two are the cutest couple ever and I genuinely wish you to last lonqqqqqqqq~ (typical Singaporeans and their habit to replace 'G' with a Q') Last lonq Last long haahhaha ^_^  

All I want is security. I want to be with my family in a stable house where I know for certain that our future is there. What's going to happen to us in Australia? Will I be moving here for the rest of my life, and will I become all soppy and homesick again? And as much as I would like it, I don't need a boyfriend to keep my head stable. My head's already at a war as it is, I'm already going mad. The future is so blurry I can't even see it. Sitting in town yesterday while waiting for the other guys and girls to come, I prayed. For the first time in a long while. And call myself a Christian!? Yes, I prayed. I prayed hard and I wrote down everything on my notebook about what I'm so worried about. Research project. The biology presentation coming up tommorow, and there's a barbecue with the family guests tonight. Cleaning the home, and cooking meals.

It's no wonder my eyes have become slits (and they used to be big okay, not the typical asian eyes or what have you) and I'm getting wrinkles, worry lines and one pimple popping up on my nose bridge......

Just have to smile and pretend everything's okay

HAPPY SWEET 16TH BESTIE!

A post right up for you. Happy birthday to the friendliest, greatest yet annoying bestie in the world. Such a big boy now huh! Have a great birthday celebration this Sunday :) We've gone through so much together *cough* but we have both come out stronger than ever because of it. The friendship I have with you is something that I will treasure from the rest of my life. Be a big boy soon, okay?! Stop cracking sick jokes lah - your Singlish is a fail :3  

International day! We took quite a lot of pictures :) The best part was Mr. D's hakka dance. He's quite a toned dude hah. Our cupcake stall was a success too! Mia, Freya and Tamara's cupcakes are the prettiest. I made vanilla cupcakes, and brought along the icing, but it really couldn't compare to their cupcakes at all - so I just hid it underneath the table. I gave them out for free later ^_^ Christina kept complimenting me on my cupcakes. At least someone thinks they're good~ We didn't really do anything. I was dozing off during assembly hehe, and during glenunga idol.

 ♥

Infinite

Probably the two cutest girls you've ever seen? I love you both :) I don't know how I would do without you both. When I went out with the two of you, I can truthfully say I hadn't talked to the both of you in ages. I barely knew what was happening in your lives, being out of Singapore, and the last time I talked to Amanda was two years ago, when we finally moved on to secondary three and forgot about our earlier memories. The last time I remember talking to Rachel was in secondary one where I made frequent trips down to her house, wearing my Superman shirt and dropping her off whenever I could after school. We went out almost everytime together to take stickies with Zemaine, Calanthea....

That's the most I remember.

But I love you both so much in ways I cannot imagine. You two are the only two I can possibly say I am the most comfortable around. We moved on to different groups and cliques of friends, and drifted so much apart - but when I got back, we all talked like we had talked for ages. You're the reason why I want to go back, when I know I can't. It's at times like this where I regret moving over to study in Adelaide.

~

Miss Lam came back today :( She's so unbelievably monotonous and dry when she's conducting her lessons. She keeps on picking on Ellen too >:( Ellen's mastery of the Chinese language is amazing so you shouldn't be putting her down >< Well, I think she's amazing. Learning a language at such high levels when you're not even Chinese is something worth applauding. I'm Chinese and my language skills will go down the drain if I don't continue doing IB Chinese. I would just die.

Today was the first day of school~ Saad got well already :D He had a cold sore on his lip too, and I'm just so fascinated by cold sores. Are they contagious? Well, glad he's better already. And finished my english on time with vivian~ >< So difficult. But glad that's already over and done with. Now it's time for research project. Sigh. I wish they made Research Project optional.

71: Into the Fire

Today was such a nice hot day, wearing shorts out to water the herbs has just got to be one of the best feelings ever. Feeling the summer heat on your bare legs as your feet touch the grass feels like heaven after wrapping up your legs all summer in thick leggings, skinny jeans and long baggy track pants :) I was completely basking in the sun today. Did any of you enjoy the fantastic weather today?

So today, we went to the Good Food and Wine Show in Adelaide! ^__^ It was probably one of the best fairs ever, though I've got to say the food booths in the actual Adelaide Show was much more better - but I absolutely loved the dips in olive oil with dukkah and all the yummy couscous and lasagnes! I was like staring at the people auditioning for Australia's Got Talent, and some of them were really talented! Now I can tell everybody I saw Australia's Got Talent's auditions live heheheho.



Yes, that's the French celebrity chef guy ^__^ He's quite a cool dude, wearing skinny jeans and checkered shirts at his age. Quite good-looking lah hehe.

So we went around tasting dukkah and I was dipping breads into olive oil and just gobbling everything up and tasting free samples like a true asian. We missed out getting the goodie bags, so my parents and my aunts, along with my sister - we went to go have a look at the celebrity cooking theatre! Gary and george weren't there :( It would have been great if we saw them there I am an absolute fan of those two roly polies ^__^ They're the cutest middle-age guys around! And they can cook! What else is more attractive than that would you please tell me!!!!!!!



+100000000000 FOR AN ASIAN GUY WHO CAN COOK. Luke Nguyen in person. Such a cool asian hehe. It was so funny when we heard people pronouncing his last name as 'nougat'. My sister and I wanted to die of laughter.

I'M SO HAPPY MUMMY BOUGHT TRUFFLE OIL TODAY! SO HAPPY~
Okay I need to go sleep now. Back to my english heheheheheho.

xoxo